Communication …

… is a foundational part of life, whether in relationships, business or play.

Couple building healthy communicationThere are many forms or parts to communication:

    • The word spoken or written
    • Listening or reading
    • Understanding
    • Body language, including eye contact and touch
    • And on occasions patience and keeping silent

Holy scripture is sufficient for us to lead lives that glorify God, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17
and see also Psalms 9:7-14. Scripture is our rock where we can find inspiration, hope, and faith at any stage of life, in good times and bad.

Within scripture there are many verses relating to how we should communicate to others in our lives – marriages, families, other relationships whether work or friends. Within marriage these verses show the way for healthy, open hearted communication between husband and wife. We are shown the power of words with God speaking out creation and then in Proverbs 18:21.

Below you will find the majority of verses of scripture that relate to communication for you to study and bring into your life, and remembering “Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

For the Scriptures say,
“If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. The eyes of the LORD watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the LORD turns his face against those who do evil.” 1 Peter 3:10-12 (NLT)

Note: Unless otherwise shown scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

15:1-3 – “LORD, who will abide in Your tabernacle? Who will dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, and does righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart; he who does not slander with the tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor bears a reproach against his friend. (MEV)

19:14 – “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer. (MEV)

39:1 – “I said, “I will guard my ways, Lest I sin with my tongue; I will restrain my mouth with a muzzle, While the wicked are before me.”

49:3 – “My mouth will speak wisdom, and the meditation of my heart will be understanding.” (MEV)

141:3 – “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.”

4:24 – “Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put perverse lips far from you.”

10:19 – “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise”

11:12 – “By the blessing of the upright the city is exalted, But it is overthrown by the mouth of the wicked.”

12:18 – “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.

12:25 – “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.”

14:3 – “In the mouth of a fool is a rod of pride, But the lips of the wise will preserve them.”

15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger. (MEV)

15:2 – “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness”

15:4 – “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”

15:23 – “A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!”

16:13 – “Righteous lips are the delight of kings, And they love him who speaks what is right.”

16:23 – “The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds learning to his lips.” (MEV)

16:24 – “Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to the bones.” (MEV)

17:27 – “He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.”

17:28 – “Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.”

18:2 – “A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart.” (MEV)

18:13 – “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.” (MEV)

18:21 – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (MEV)

20:3 – “It is honorable for a man to stop striving, Since any fool can start a quarrel.”

21:23 – “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue, keeps his soul from troubles.” (MEV)

25:11-15 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. As an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover to an obedient ear. As the cold of snow in the time of harvest, so is a faithful messenger to those who send him, for he refreshes the soul of his masters. Whoever boasts himself of a false gift is like clouds and wind without rain. By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaks the bone.” (MEV)

27:17 – “As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”

29:11 – “A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back.”

29:20 – “Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

10:12-14 – “The words of a wise man’s mouth bring favor, but the speech of a fool consumes him; the beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness, and the end of his talk is evil madness. A fool multiplies words, though no man knows what is to be; who can tell him what will be after him” (MEV)

The Apostles learned many things from Jesus as they watched Him minister, including healthy communication. He cautioned them to remember that their words and their attitudes were strongly connected.

Matthew 12:36-37 – “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Matthew 15:11 – “Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.”

Matthew 15:18 – “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.”

Luke 6:45 – “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Paul’s letters, he made a clear appeal to those who sought to follow Christ. He wrote that they should seek to show God’s love to others through their talk – smart advice for us as well.

Ephesians 4:15 – “But, speaking the truth in love, we may grow up in all things into Him, who is the head, Christ Himself” (MEV)

Ephesians 4:25 – “Therefore, putting away lying, let every man speak truthfully with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” (MEV)

Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth, but only that which is good for building up, that it may give grace to the listeners.” (MEV)

Ephesians 5:4 – “Let there be no filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse joking, which are not fitting. Instead, give thanks.” (MEV)

1 Corinthians 10:31 – “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.””

Colossians 3:8-9 – “But now you must also put away all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, and
filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie one to another, since you have put off the old nature with its deeds, and have embraced the new nature, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of Him who created it,” (MEV)

Colossians 4:6 – “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.”

2 Timothy 2:16 – “But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness.”

Titus 3:2 – “to speak evil of no one, not to be contentious, but gentle, showing all humility toward everyone.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

James’ letter to the 12 tribes has three powerful verses, that when followed will create healthier and more respectful communication throughout daily life whether at home, work or “play”.

1:19-20 – “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

3:5 – “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.”

3:9-10 – “With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.”

These verses highlight qualities crucial for effective communication and representing Him well in daily life – patience, sensitivity, understanding, forgiveness, wisdom.

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:34-35 (NLT)

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.” James 1:19-21 (NLT)

“Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.” 1 Peter 3:8-9 (NLT)

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:12-13 (NLT)

“God-lovers make the best counselors. Their words possess wisdom and are right and trustworthy. The ways of God are in their hearts and they won’t swerve from the paths of steadfast righteousness.” Psalms 37:30-31 (TPT).

As we use the lessons learnt from scripture it becomes easier to be a good communicator, and will show God inspired qualities and inspire others.

“The teachings of the lovers of God are like living truth flowing from the fountain of life, but the words of the wicked hide an ulterior motive.”

Proverbs 10:11 (TPT)

Download this page, in a zipped file, as a pdf for use as a “Bible Study” with your spouse. Also included in the zipped file is a set of conversation starter cards, for you and your spouse to use, on the topic of “Building Healthy Communication.

QUICK LINKS