What is “love”?

Two “love”-related events are noted on the February calendar. February 14th is Valentine’s Day, and February 17th is Random Acts of Kindness Day (for us this should be every day)

Perhaps this is a naive question, but what is love, really? Between the world, woke interpretations and, regrettably, the English language (and probably others) today’s understanding of the word “love” is badly distorted. In the English language, a wide variety of different feelings are described as “love”.

“Love” is a powerful motivating force in many people’s lives, both inside and outside the church. We need to define love correctly so the church’s people are fully equipped for their life ministry in this area.

Inspired scripture writers identified love in its various forms, noting its first use in Genesis 22:2 (Abraham’s love for Isaac) and Genesis 24:67 (Jacob’s love for Rachel). The ancient word that is used is “ahab” (Strongs no. h0157. אָהַב ’âhaḇ; or אָהֵב ’aheb; a primitive root; to have affection for (sexually or otherwise): — (be-) love (-d, -ly, -r), like, friend.) and appears some 208 times in the Old Testament and describes a deep emotional bond, such as that between husband and wife, parent and child and between a person and God.

There is a second word in the OT associated love and that is “hesed” (Strongs no. h2617. חֶסֶד ḥeseḏ; from 2616; kindness; by implication (towards God) piety: rarely (by opposition) reproof, or (subject.) beauty: — favour, good deed (-liness, -ness), kindly, (loving-) kindness, merciful (kindness), mercy, pity, reproach, wicked thing.). First used Genesis 19:19, with the last occurrence being found in Zechariah 7:9. Between these two passages, hesed is used 248 times in 241 verses in the Hebrew concordance of the Authorized Version (AV).

Author Dr. Lois Verburg says, “Hesed is a bone-weary father who drives through the night to bail his drug-addict son out of jail. Hesed is a mom who spends day after thankless day spoon-feeding and wiping up after a disabled child. Hesed is an unsung pastor’s wife whose long-suffering, tearful prayers keep her exhausted husband from falling apart at the seams. Hesed is love that can be counted on, decade after decade. It’s not about the thrill of romance, but the security of faithfulness.”

Ancient Greek identified various forms of love:

1. Divine or unconditional love (agape)
2. Friendly or platonic love (philia)
3. Familial love (storge)
4. Romantic or erotic love (eros)

Neither “storge” nor “eros” appear in scripture.

“Storge” is used to describe the natural bonds of love that bind family members together. Although Scripture does not contain the word itself, it contains variations such as “philostorgos” (Strong’s no. g5387 φιλόστοργος philostorgos, translated as “brotherly love” in Romans 12:10).

In 1 John 4:8, the apostle John writes “God is love” (Strongs g0026. ἀγάπη agapē).

God’s love is not fully understood by people. We misunderstand the fullness of God’s love, in part because today’s world often portrays “love” as romantic, erotic, etc. This is particularly in advertising and entertainment, which frequently centers on selfish sexual fulfillment through fornication or adultery. This is not only far from the biblical definition of love but is also a sin in God’s eyes. With some people there is somewhere their relationship, their love of the Lord, which is more feeling/emotionally centred (philia), that is an emotional connection, liking each other as friends. Our comprehension of the powerful word, Love, is limited by these misunderstandings. -

Agape

• Agape love, an unconditional, selfless love often described as a God-like or Christ-like love.
• Agape love is potentially the most important type of love that should prevail in marriages.

Husbands and wives must maintain that unconditional love, which is a strong bond for each other, through the thick and the thin, despite the mistakes. Each one loving the other as a whole person—flaws and all.

A major key to a marriage that is filled with joy and happiness is selflessness. Husbands and wives who are selfless in their attitude to each other not only make their spouse happy but they will also benefit. Acts of kindness, whether large or small, go a long way.

Within God’s design of marriage, husband and wife will share and enjoy the four types of love between and exclusively with each other. But, acknowledging that most will likely feel Philia and maybe Agape for close friends, and Storge and Agape for their children and parents, if they have them.

Marriage is a foundational component in God’s creation. We in the church need to speak regularly about God’s design of marriage and that the Holy Bible is our “handbook” for marriage and for life. Churches must consistently provide effective marriage ministry regardless of marital status or relationship quality, supporting those married, single, or soon-to-be-married. Through this ministry, we will see marriages free from violence, whether physical or through words spoken and through which God is glorified.

MARRIAGE MINISTRY KIT

Have you downloaded our "Marriage Ministry Kit" to assist you set up or further develop your ministry.

The Marriage Ministry Kit contains different 'stepping stones' to meet the needs of growing the church ministry to marriages which seeks to equip couples to understand and bring into their own marriage God’s principles for marriage; ways that would impact the direction of their marriage and their individual lives, their family, the church, and the community they serve.