Equipping Marriages For Sustainability

Much is written these days about sustainability, usually in terms of the environment. For us, this should be a natural part of good stewardship and the dominion which we were given (Gen. 1:26-28), which, although lost through Adam’s sin, was restored to us through Christ.

Marriage between a man and a woman, as designed by God, should be the image of sustainability. Marriage is a covenant relationship for life, no matter what lies before us – God is always with us (Psa 23; Heb 13:5-8).

There are two foundational ways in which we can equip those who are married and also those who will be married in the future:

1. Speaking out the Word (2 Tim 3:16), whether through a sermon message or other meetings. The Word that speaks of the design and purpose of marriage, the roles of husband/wife and father/mother. The Word on how we should forgive, communicate, etc., is all-important for our life ministry.

a. Encouraging married couples/families to invite Christ to become their centre and foundation, praying together and for each other.

b. Ask the church, prayer and home groups regularly to pray for the marriages within the church.

2. Teaching through observation. There are many such ways outside the church that teach incorrectly not only what marriage is, but also omit any mention of its purpose, let alone the roles, responsibilities, and duties of husband and wife. Within the church we can powerfully use teaching through observation. e.g.:

a. Ask married couples to share their testimony about their marriage, selecting couples who have been married for different lengths of time. Always seeking to ensure that they both speak and share!

b. Acknowledge longevity of marriage at "milestone" wedding anniversaries.

c. All of leadership to honour and respect marriage (Heb 13:4).

d. All the married leaders are seen investing in their own marriage.

e. Ask your congregation or home group to sponsor a date night for married couples. Have childcare gift certificates available – these are downloadable through this link.

f. Equip through training, in-house or online, "Marriage Mentors". Always ensure that safe church protocols are followed, with both mentors and mentees being aware of the reporting requirements and routes.
Empowering Marriage Mentors within the church is a strong route for “teaching through observation.
Marriage Mentors are there to help and guide other married couples on paths that strengthen their marital bonds and overcome negative influences that may have unknowingly affected their marriage. Such influences can take the form of any media, friends, and, unfortunately, family.

We always have silent observers who perceive the dynamics of relationships, particularly those involving the children of the marriage. It can be a challenging thought that they could unknowingly model their own future relationships on what they have observed from dysfunctional marriages and the world. We who are married should work to be seen as a good role model for everyone, including those in your home, family and wider community. Show them through your loving actions what a difference Christ can make in a marriage.

As Ps. Ugochi Oritsejolomisan, wrote in her article, “How To Help Other Marriages” - “Be a Positive Example in Your Conversations about Marriage.
We must not be selfish or care less about what is going on in our neighbours’, colleagues’, friends’ and relatives’ marriages. We must work the love in our hearts to a point where it breaks our heart to see other marriages suffering. This pain should then drive us to want to do something about it. ‘For Christ’s love compels us…’ (2 Corinthians 5:14)”