Safe Marriages and Families

Hidden amongst the “bad news” in the last few weeks was a short mention of increased domestic violence in our nation, and it was quickly pushed aside by the other acts of violence occurring around the world.

The news publishers’ interest in family and domestic violence being sparked by a media release from the ABS on the 18 March. The media release stated:
“There were 97,800 offenders proceeded against by police for at least one family and domestic violence (FDV) related offence in 2024–25, up 7,103 offenders (or 8%) from 2023–24. Over a quarter (28%) of all offenders recorded nationally had at least one FDV offence.” The report also states that 78% of FDV offenders were male with a median age of 35yrs against the median age for all offenders of 32 years. 5.1% of FDV offenders were aged between 10 – 17 years.”
The World Health Organization (WHO) has recognized “Intimate partner violence” as a global public health crisis. It defines this form of violence as “behavior by an intimate partner or ex-partner that causes physical, sexual, or psychological harm, including physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse, and controlling behaviors.”

Regrettably, members of the Christian Church in Australia are not exempt from violence in the home, although there is no recent evidence/research to show the extent. Not only is such violence recognised as being against “human rights” but more importantly, it flies directly in the face of scripture and is not to God’s glory.

God brought a flood upon the earth as He “saw that the earth had become corrupt and was filled with violence.” Genesis 6:11-13.
“Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40 [NLT] The church should be recognised as a place of truth, love, maintain safe places throughout all parts of its ministry in reverence of Him and for His glory. We should not exhibit the “bystander effect”* but be active; active in the Word for we are in the unique position that God has placed us to be that light on the hill, to speak His truth and show His love.
Scripture shows us that all people are to be honoured, respected, and valued—we are made by God, and in His image (as seen in Genesis 1:27). His word equips us to care for the whole person — spiritually, emotionally, and physically. All in the church family should look out for each other, loving their neighbours. The gospel message shows us that God calls the weak, the lost, children, and the vulnerable.
Often FDV victims turn to a church leader, before accessing specialists in FDV, for prayer, help, and guidance. Occasionally, victims may turn to home/connect group leaders before turning to others. In these circumstances, regrettably uninformed though well-intentioned responses, e.g. recommending forgiveness without accountability and leaving the abuse unaddressed, can cause further harm and increased risk to the victim.
Sometimes the perpetrator of FDV may seek spiritual justification or help. This would present a complex situation that should be dealt with by those who have been trained in this area so that safe and correct directions can be given.
“Safe church protocols” are established for all in the church, the children … to the vulnerable, with clear guidelines on how volunteers and staff should respond in situations seen (often people will suffer in silence and can isolate themselves) or heard and the lines of reporting that should be followed.
We in the church need to become more aware of FDV and its effects throughout the church and beyond. Then, we need to speak out that awareness courageously, with love and strength, to the church members and equip all to live and love within marriage and family. We also need to be equipped to deal compassionately with this type of situation with wisdom and maintaining safety for all that may be involved.
Through equipping the members of the church for the good of their own marriages and family they will come alongside others, both in and outside of the church, to speak out the truth, God’s design and purpose of marriage. Those enduring violence suffer great pain and need to be shown God’s love, know of His justice, healing, and hope. Always guide to the right specialist area where help is required.
Below are some organisations that train and equip church leadership and members with the knowledge and tools for the right and safe response and how to journey alongside those who have suffered violence and also those who have used violence.

• Safe Ministry Check      https://safeministrycheck.com.au
• Safer (from Common Grace)      https://www.saferresource.org.au
• Also check with your denominations “safe church”, professional standards or relevant office

Christian Counsellors
The Christian Counsellors Association (CCAA) exists to further the reputation and professional development of Australian counsellors who practice within a framework of Christian values. We pro-vide a valuable resource for members of the public to connect with counsellors in their area who can provide professional counselling services whilst upholding and reflecting the cornerstones of our spirituality.
For details go to: https://ccaa.net.au/

* The “bystander effect” is defined as the diffusion of responsibility and social influence. The perceived diffusion of responsibility means that the more onlookers there are, the less personal responsibility individuals will feel to take action. Social influence means that individuals monitor the behavior of those around them to determine how to act. (from Psychology Today Australia”)